BEING HOME AGAIN

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So my two weeks in Singapore flew by way quicker than I ever could imagine and it was one of the most intense 2 weeks of my life. I didn’t realise how much I had missed being home and the convenience of it all allowed me to really go crazy. Drunken nights and not remembering how I got home the night before and just a genuinely good time all around with friends and family. I was exhausted but I absolutely loved being home on a ‘holiday’. But ‘home’ made me also realise how much I had taken for granted with all that I had and how much harder things are in London. Singapore is easily one of the safest places to live in and I know that I will be fine even if it means to being out and about at 4 in the morning. My time there was also mentally very straining because I was reminded a lot about the uncertainty I was facing, with every person I met, I was asked about the future and it wasn’t something that was avoidable. It was a very frustrating feeling- I wanted to talk about it to feel better but I also knew that there was nothing me or anyone could do to change my circumstances. The two weeks made me focus a lot on positivity and embracing the best out of everything that I got. I was nervous, there was a lot of fear about the future but things slowly got better when I made it a point to be the most positive version of myself and think the best out of everything. Coming back to London was another nightmare on it’s own and last week was one of the toughest weeks I’ve had to go through mentally but this city humbles you and it makes you work for the things you want and care about. Whatever matters is I’m back and I’ve never felt better.

The past couple of weeks made me realise one thing which really is the reason why I’m writing all of this in the first place- a friend of mine told me that at certain times in our lives we start to feel lost, and everything seems to just crumble apart no matter how hard we try to stay positive and look at the better side of things. But the thing is, the moment we let go and let God or any higher power you might believe in, take control, and take things one step at a time, you’ll realise that everything will eventually fall into place. It is very humbling not being able to be in control of your circumstances and your life. Being the sort of person who is used to being in charge, letting go taught me how much I needed to stop obsessing everything and simply allow life to happen. Trust God and really, go forth everyday