Took a few days off finding myself, fell sick and I have lost my voice. I think I've eaten too much lozenges and panadols in one night I need to puke. Every bed time has been "...relying on my illusions to keep me warm" just for some comfort and probably to prevent myself from crying. Sux. Then just spending time alone trying to figure things happening in my life out which equates to : I hate how I'm living my life now. And I'm putting myself at a loss because I'm just going to sit here and carry on waiting. This feels so...alone.
So I met my ex tutor after a good 2 years, how time flies and so much has changed. She has her own car now so she picked me up and drove me to this horse riding club for breakfast at a really pretty cafe. It was nice, as you feel the outdoors and watch the horses as you eat, catching up about everything.
Then we picked her dog up after renting some movies and getting some chips to spend the afternoon at my place. Sadly my dog couldn't get along with the poor guy, they just kept barking and my dog was so scared but her tail was wagging throughout the entire time, so I started to bark too OoOooh mediator -.- but didn't work out.
Am still overly obsessed with his little froggy suit.
Anamei's house to bake cuppies and cookies again.
She uses a Prada purse to carry her dog's shit bags...
Happened to be at Far East alone while waiting for the guys and thank God for Regina, spent an hour at Ztamp yakking about everything and taking instant shots. Hope you like the cupcake Regina!!
Darren's christmas present.... the coolest super dooper reindeer pooper where Rudolf shits out brown jellybeans.
Our feast @ Chomp chomp
Lets see.... hokkien mee, prawn w pork rib mee, satay beef and chicken, 2 plates of wanton mee, oyster omelette, bbq chicken wings, carrot cake and sugar cane YUM. But I hardly ate -.-
Legs like turkey...
Myself in Topshop.
Why do I look so happy -.-
-Need to grab tissues....mucus is oozing out -.-
-NEED TO PUKE.
-Am sad I miss you
-Today I felt sad after seeing you and I don't know why so I went straight home this is the only space I can let out how I feel about you because, I feel so non-existant towards you and I am more than convinced you know nothing of this. Something in my heart tells me that and it just stays there. (Sorry) I've probably pretended enough and I am sick of it. I bet you don't even know I still think of you and miss you. But just....seeing that you're happy is part of that heavy load I've been carrying off my back, you still never fail to make me smile though. About feeling so non-existant, I'm sorry for having to say that though you remembered me when you were away. I was really happy but that feeling just stays there and it shows. Everything shows. And at the same time, I cannot ask for much. Maybe its just sensitivity. I don't understand this but its slowly tearing me. I am sorry and I've never once gave this up. I'm not sure about you, I wish I knew but time will tell. I hope I was at the very least a good memory for you to think of every now and then when you remember. I may be blunt with my words but I know what I'm trying to say, will you even hear me out?
-Don't want Christmas and New Year's to come. Have so much I don't want to end, will miss 2008 more than anything, its been quite a year and I am so scared of the future. Don't want school to start, haven't started on homework which has added up to an entire pile :( Am scared.
-Supposed to bake for everyone but sorry Hazel and the guys I really don't feel myself to bake again, and even if I did, my heart is not in it. Am sorry :(
-Nuffnang has treated me well with a cheque of $XXX I should be receiving next month.
-Hosanna I miss you too. And I miss my friends.
-NEED TO GET MY BOOTIES.
-To those who have purchased something from me and have yet to receive your packages, I am sincerely apologetic for the delay. I've just mailed out some of them a few days ago and am doing the rest over the next few days as well.
-Still sad and miss you
-REALLY NEED TO PUKE NOW.
I will be back again soon, when I feel better. Thanks for those who cared, I appreciate it a hell lot. I'll be myself again I promise.
ROGER OUT. (Hahah)