I miss you so much. You know its funny how before I close my eyes every night I will say out your name, then a goodnight. And when I pray, my prayers seem, somewhat never ending. Other nights, I'd go on my knees and pray to God, that everything will be okay. My days seem to be moving in a really slow pace but time is so scary, and its running out for me. 3 weeks....8 months..then 9. December! I can't wait. Maybe I look happy to you, yes I'm so much better even I'm surprised how I'm able to achieve this within such a short period of time, knowing me. But hey, what exactly do you know? I look at myself every day and night, and say the things that keep me going, repetitively throughout the rest of the day. Ask my friends the same questions over and over to assure myself everything will be okay and I'm going to get whatever I want in just a matter of time. No, not the material things. And prayer again, helps much. Otherwise, how do you think I'm able to bring myself to live till today? I had so much hurt filling me up then, and remorse. And I learnt yesterday, how we're meant to lose the people we love, or sometimes we may never realise how much they mean to us. I'm sorry, maybe I took you for granted, never thought you'd be gone and I'll never forget how much paranoia can kill. Or maybe I didn't, it just had to come and go. You, just had to come and go. But thats okay, I know what will to keep me going and I have so much to prove to you, you'll see.
Because I have absolutely no doubt in my heart about all these things I keep so dear in my heart...