Times like this,

I miss the old times too much that I hate how everything is going at such a pace, the next day, I completely don't know you anymore. I miss you, I miss us, be it the happy three friends or the good ol' foursome, those days were always right and peaceful with nothing but laughter, fun, and pretty much nothing more I could ask for. I miss those days I could genuinely smile in my sleep and wake up excited for a brand new day, it has been so long, too long in fact and none of you know how much those days meant to me. They've been stuck with me all this while, at my most down periods, keeping me going, sometimes even hoping that they'd come back again. Other times lying in bed all day just alling flashbacks to repeat and smiling to myself because they felt so real. Then I snap back to reality and just force a smile out of myself and say, "Its okay, at least there was more than a memory to keep" Other times, it upsets me and I break down in tears because we were all naive and nonchalant to everything around us, we just had oursleves and that was all that mattered. What changed all this? Paranoia? I probably hate myself for being that paranoid, and for trying too hard. Those days may have been long over but you know what? I dare say, they were one of my happiest and nothing is exchangeable just for a second of it. Those days were genuine, everything was. I miss those days, but believe me, things will get better. Because soon, I will be able to smile like that again with no worries or whatsoever. It will be better than perfect. Way better. And yeah, each and every single one of you will be a part of this because thats how faith and belief works. I don't need to hear what you have to say, I may be falling apart day by day but in the end, its for whats worth. And what could be better than this you tell me?

Love, me.