Turning 18 last week probably made me realize one thing- even if this took forever to realize but I guess better late than never right? Its time I started having real faith in my friends. I would be lying to say I haven't been struggling, and every time I try to pick myself up again it ends up in bed sobbing my eyes off asking God why I have to go through this. But looking back, I've been so blessed…Expectation really can be a hard thing to keep up with. There's a fine line between expecting too much and believing. But at the same time, I am a strong believer of using positive energy to bring more into your life. Never failed me. So I guess its only right to say that I've been hanging loosely on threads. I love my friends. I really do. I'd go all out for the people I love even if they didn't deserve it. And I just want them to know that even though every time I cry because I don't believe in their love or feel worthy of it, it means the world to me that they are still here and I know with my heart they do love me. Even typing all of this feels seemingly impossible. I really am quite cynical aren't I? If you go back to the first few posts of this blog in 2008, you'd realise how time changes everything. It used to be worst and this blog was nothing but emotional outbursts of my depression. But I am so glad to be where I am today, I think blogging did make me a stronger person as time passed. Its been a long time since I wrote about my feelings publicly..feels kinda weird but this huge weight has been lifted off my chest. So I'm thankful and I know this might be a bit to take in so suddenly so I hope you don't mind.
A couple of my friends came to hang out at my place today, I made pasta with meatballs with Rachel in the messiest way possible but everything turned out delicious, then we played dress up in my bursting collection of outerwear (winter wear to be exact). I know its contradicting living in Singapore and having such a passion for my winter wardrobe but I have devised a way of being able to improvise these pieces into your everyday wardrobe suited for Singapore weather. (More on that in another post!) Always a joy playing dress up with the right company, can you guess who we are?