The unreal dream that is surreality

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Just thought I'd share a couple of photos snapped while we decided to spend a day in the park. Size really has boundaries in England and Richmond Park was nothing short of beautiful- being London's largest royal park and also a nature reserve, it is also known as a deer park with over 600 of them wandering around through the woods. It was a chilly morning and seeing some of our favourite animals so free in the green gave me all the warmth I needed. Not everyday you go for a stroll and you see horses in the middle of your route eh? We were lucky it was bambi season! I screamed at every baby bambi I could spot from the car and couldn't wait to get out and start walking about. Sadly, the moment we got out of the car, we saw almost nothing apart from occasional wild rabbits and a lot of poop. And of course, they all came back out as we drove out of the reserve. 

While I am still going through withdrawal symptoms from my trip, I've spent the past couple of days a lot by myself just doing what I love best: cooking and eating. And watching A LOT of crime drama. But it's also given me more than enough time to immerse myself in real life lately. I am not sure how you got here to this blog, maybe we met somewhere or you came across it through someone, somehow, or you read about it…I've been blogging for as long as I can remember and if you scroll all the way to the beginning, you'd be able to find emo selfies and low quality pictures of cuts on my wrist as I went on and on about how miserable my life was. Then I got better and I was starting to feel happy again. No idea how this became a fashion blog, except remembering wanting to drift away from getting myself too personal here and also obsessing over this cute Swedish girl I came across who had an amazing blog I could spend hours staring at. The rest is history and it was the start of Missingavenue (which has no meaning by the way). I am not sure what it is about me that makes people feel like I should be dressing a certain way, crop top or no crop top, what colour my hair should be or whether I look too skinny or too flabby. Over the years, I've always told myself that as long as I chose to  continue with this blog, it needs to it to be for me and nobody else. Along the way, I got lost but I always picked myself back up again. Right now, I feel lost again. In today's world, there is no longer such a thing as blogging for 'yourself', instead now, it's for a whole world outside to see and comment. It's for our readers, giving them more of what they like to see. No more saying what we want to say. It's posting those pictures taken with that angle on Instagram and editing them with that app just so the likes keep coming in. It's blogging more and getting ourselves out there so that maybe an agency might find us and get us hooked so we'll get tons of endorsements so that we can be the next big thing on the internet. I never wanted any of these, but I've accepted these gifts, I've been paid to write and share an opinion or even just to post a picture. Even over the past 2 weeks I've been neglecting my most favourite hobby just because I feel the layout isn't good enough anymore and my pictures do not have enough impact on my site. And I stress about what to wear next and where to take those photos the next time…. this isn't the natural process that I made myself promise to stick to 4 years ago. 

I know this isn't the first time I've mentioned all of these on the blog but please bear with me. I can be an emotional rollercoaster and the truth is, my blog means a hell lot to me and I want to do it to the best of my ability. Whether it is for myself or for the world to see. This isn't a popular blog with hundreds of thousands of hits everyday- this is just me, my life and how much I need to own a cat and go on Ellen Degeneres. From now on, you will have to bear with me because this blog is going to be as unfiltered, uncensored and as raw as it can get. Done my way of course, I like to think that I've good taste once in awhile so it will still look pretty, thats what art school taught me and it's how I'd like to live my life. But let's just keep it real here okay? Maybe  you might think a fashion blog can never be real as long as the main content of the blog are outfits but I'd like to change that now. I'd like to document more of my life whenever I can just so I can remember and my friends can remember. I am a real person after all who cries, laughs, eats too much potato salad while watching Criminal Minds back to back, I shake my legs, I stick out my tongue when I type or write if I get too into it, I've think about being in London everyday for the past 3 years of my life…I like to tell myself I can read but I really can't and I'm trying to get it back, I go to church and fall asleep sometimes, I can cry over an avocado and I get excited over plates and teacups like how someone gets excited over meeting G-Dragon so I scream really loud when I see them at a market. I am as weird and unweird as you are too and there needs to be more of this here. I want to pretend nobody is reading then only can I be true to what Missingavenue ought to be right from the start. Whether you like it or not, it's your choice but I'll keep doing what I do my way because surely you can seek fulfillment somewhere else. 

Thank you for sticking it out with me all these years and for your craziest/most heartwarming/hilarious/constructive comments. I'll never forget that night I leaned on an SBS bus to take a photo while the traffic light was on and someone commented on my blog the next day saying they saw me. I laughed till I cried.