Vancouver July 2014

I flew from Los Angeles to Vancouver to visit my friend, Nigel for a week and it was quite the adventure. Despite being apart for 2 whole years, it felt like it was just yesterday we were in Singapore at the beach club having the night of our lives. Nigel was modelling in Singapore and contacted me through Lookbook and we quickly became friends after we realised how well we got along. This guy, is gorgeous, in every angle, if you can't already tell by now. Our week in his city was spent doing tons of vintage shopping, eating, drinking, watching Sex and the City back to back, more drinking, dancing, drinking, drinking, drinking.. I find it hard to describe Vancouver with my own words. It didn't feel very different from America to me except that yes the currency was different, and there were signs in French and Chinese. It was still a bustling city which turns vibrant at night especially during the summer where the parties go from the clubs then running in our drunken selves to the beach. My bro, Henry, whom you might remember from my adventures in Portland, also made a trip down to the city to see me for a little and do some self-exploring. It was the perfect reunion, for the first time, the both of us in a different country together even though it didn't really feel like one.

I felt so thankful to have been reunited with my friends, our last goodbyes (both coincidentally in Singapore) made me sad because we couldn't give an answer as to when we would meet again but in a flash, I was in a club on a Friday night, surrounded by the people I loved. I remember being almost drunk, barely able to hold myself up and everyone else around me, the new friends I had just made together with my friends, dancing the night away. It was intense but I wanted to remember the moment so I held myself together and just stood there in the middle of the crowd while the music blasted and everyone seemed like they were on a high.

If there was anything that Vancouver had taught me, it is to love fearlessly. It was the first time in my life I had been in such close proximity to the gay/homosexual community and I wasn't sure about how I felt at first because it was so new to me. But when I saw how happy my friend was with his other half it warmed my heart and made me realise that they were no different than any of us. I began to question why people were so afraid to love today. In Vancouver, I felt as if I saw more guys holding hands, arm in arm with each other than regular couples. In the city and state's circumstances, yes it was legal for homosexuals to marry and go around freely in the city which is such an eyeopener but it made me think about how in a world today when we are living more comfortably than ever before, people were afraid to show their love to each other. Lets not go into the countries which do not have the privilege to go out as a free person, but my point really is, we are all human beings, entitled to love and to be loved. Boy or girl. Straight or homosexual. I realised how I've been so afraid to love the people around me. My friends and family especially. I've never been afraid to say it out loud, but my actions were nothing like how I had felt. Even with the closest people to me who had seen the best and worst of me, a hug was difficult. Any kind of affection was difficult. And when it came to boys, I was a wreck all the time. I could never bring the courage to ever say how I felt and always resorted to alcohol to make me brave which obviously isn't the best choice at any time… The affection and love I saw in Vancouver among my friends and their friends opened my heart and simply told me again and again in my head, 'love fearlessly'. Do not be afraid to make it known how much you love a person, family, friend or better half. Even if it's just a crush. Put it out there! You never know what you're gonna get in return.

Thank you Nigel for being the best host one could ask for and Henry for coming all the way down from Portland. #ILY!